First, a reminder that our Book Club Girl on Air show with Sonya Sones, on which we'll discuss her novel of marriage, motherhood and mayhem, The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus is tonight, Tuesday, May 10th at 7 pm ET. Set your reminder for the show, and return to that same link to listen and participate live during the show. Be sure to register on the site before the start of the show, so you can take part in the chat session from the beginning. During the show you can send in questions via the chat session that we'll relay to Sonya, or you can call in and ask her a question directly by dialing 347-945-6149.
And to get us in the mood for the show, we have a guest post today from Sonya herself!
Two Poems from the Director’s Cut of THE HUNCHBACK OF NEIMAN MARCUS
Okay, THE HUNCHBACK OF NEIMAN MARCUS isn’t a movie, it’s a novel in verse—a coming of middle-age story about a woman who is just about to turn fifty years old. But if this is a novel, there can’t be a director’s cut, can there?
Well…no, there can’t be. Though I did write a lot of poems for the book that ultimately had to be edited out. “Aaghh!” and “Lying Right Here on My Chest” are two such poems. I hated to see them go, but they weren’t really advancing the story. In fact, they were slowing things down. So, I gritted my teeth, took a deep breath, and forced myself to follow William Faulkner’s famous advice to writers: “kill your darlings.”
“Kill your darlings.” It sounds so murderous, doesn’t it? But I think Faulkner meant that no matter how brilliant you think your words are, no matter how much in love you have fallen with a certain glittering passage or sentence or poem, if it isn’t making your narrative stronger, you must be merciless and cut it out of your manuscript.
But, here, now, thanks to Book Club Girl inviting me to do this guest post (thank you, Book Club Girl!) two of my murdered darlings, about giving birth, will have a chance to be reborn…
If I have
one more contraction
as bad as that last one,
I am definitely going to need an epid—
Aaahhhokay! That does it.
To hell with natural childbirth!
Give me an epidural!
Right this min—
Aaaaahhhhyam not doing fine!
And don’t call me honey!
Just hurry up and give me the goddamn epidural
before the next contrac—
you son of a—What?
What do you mean it’s too late for an epidural?
You have got to be kidd—
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhyam not a brave little trooper!
Just shut the hell up and
give me a shot of something
Wait a minute…Wait a minute…What the?!
I think I’m getting the urge to push…
How can it be time to push alread—
I’m splitting in two!
And if you call me honey one more time
I swear I’ll ki—
HHHHHOOOOOh my GOD! Oh MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
Lying Right Here On My Chest
And it didn’t even hurt.