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August 11, 2008

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Julie P.

I really don't have a funny thing that has changed about me (you might get a different answer if you ask my husband though.) One thing that I have really "worked on" based on my husband's advice is not always thinking the grass is always greener. I used to envy certain things about my friends' lives, but my husband informed me that I had to "take everything" they have, not just the one or two things that I desire. When I started thinking about it that way, I became so much more grateful for my life because there really isn't anyone that I would totally trade places with!

Dawn

We got married just as my husband was finishing grad school in Cambridge and took a job in Syracuse NY. I had never lived anywhere outside the Boston area, and this was *quite* a change for me!

To anyone who lives in the NY metro area, you know the area north of the Hudson as "upstate"; well, people in Syracuse will point to a map and tell you that even Syracuse isn't upstate, it's "central" New York.

It may as well have been Siberia to me. Moving away from friends, the city I loved, ugh, I did not adjust well.

The weather made matters worse - you've heard of "lake effect" snow?! It snowed 8 inches our first Halloween there - the kids trick-or-treating were singing Christmas carols.

We lived there for 5 years, and it didn't take me long to realize what a great little city it is - lots of theater events, a revitalized downtown, a huge mall (!), close to the wineries, etc. Locals would tell us "it's a great place to raise kids", and looking back now I have to say they were right!

Attitude is everything. We moved from there to Charlotte, to CT, and now back to the Boston area. I've adjusted much better with each move.

Lori Barnes

My change wasn't a funny one however I wish it had been. My husband had applied for a job that would give a substaintial pay increase and wouldn't have to worry as much about bills. He didn't think he would get the job and it required us moving. Well he did get it and I had only had my photography studio a year when this happened. I had photographed professionally for 12 years and finally had my own built. We made the decision to move because i felt like it wasn't my place to ask him to turn down what could be a wonderful career. We moved to a beautiful place Hampstead, N.C. bought a boat, the beach was only 10 min. away and the marina 5 min. and it's beautiful! I was miserable there with no family there to share this with and my girls had to start a new school which was wonderful as well. My mom got a anurism near her brain and after 6 months of being there we chose to sell and move back which left me as a stay at home mom that's when i took up reading that was my therapy and glad I discovered how much i love it. Did I mention we had just got a new pool put in ? oh yeah we got that too but things don't matter when it comes to the ones you love the most. I found all these changes especially i gave up my career only to come back with out it but chose a completely different life i am now a stay at home mom and avid reader and i'm here for my mom if she needs me. I'd like to be included in your drawing, this book sounds like a humerous read I really enjoy that kind of book. photoquest(at)bellsouth.net

Gwendolyn

I love these kind of stories -- thank you for the opportunity to read someone's and to share my own. I've had a couple of "Wife in the North" experiences -- the most extreme being my summer in Appalachia. I went to visit my sister, who was living in a cabin she and her husband had built. No electricity. No running water. No indoor plumbing. We cooked on a wood-burning stove - after chopping the wood ourselves. We collected drinking water from a spring about 500 yards up the mountain from the cabin. Water for cleaning (bathing, washing dishes, etc.) was collected by the bucketful from a creek that ran through the property - the water was boiled, on the wood stove, before being used for dishes. It was summertime, so bathing could be done in the creek, but if you wanted or needed a hot bath, it meant hauling in water from the creek and heating it on the wood stove, and hauling the used water back outside again! Needless to say, indoor bathing was reserved for the most necessary occasions. The outhouse was located on the other side of the creek, which was crossed by a very irregular and crooked footbridge. It had to be crooked and irregular in order to keep the goats from crossing it and getting into the vegetable gardens – goats will eat anything! It was hard work, but satisfying and in an absolutely beautiful setting! When I stood higher up the mountainside and looked down at the little homestead, it seemed as is Disney’s Seven Dwarfs could come scampering out of the woods at any moment. Obviously, the real story here would be my sister’s experience. She lived there for several years with her husband and two young sons, often snowbound in winter. My summer was “easy” compared to her year-round life. But I still came away with a deep appreciation for hard physical work and the beauty and wonder of such direct contact with nature. I wouldn’t want to live like that all the time, but I’m glad I had the opportunity to dip my toe in the waters!

Jenn J

The biggest "change" that I've had to make is that I needed to learn to golf. My husband golfs all of the time and while we were dating it was either learn how to golf, or not see him at all on the weekends. Well, I have actually gotten pretty good, and there are many times when I think my husband wishes that he didn't force me to learn. Especially when after I beat him on nine holes (it was only one time), I had to tell EVERYONE in the world!! Definitely not his proudest moment! :)

P.S. to Dawn from above: I got nervous when I started reading your comment because I am from (and have never left except for college) Syracuse, NY. I'm glad it wasn't too bad for you, it can be harsh up here, especially the weather. You never know what people are going to say about Syracuse!!

sharon

My husband decided that our family would benefit with relocating to a new country, totally different environment and new setting. I was captivated with this idea and knew that this experience would be beneficial in many ways for us and our children. It has been a great opportunity for all of us and we are permanently settled. I rejoice each day of our luck and happiness here. Everything in life deserves consideration and is worth trying.

Ti

I grew-up in the city and was forced, at a very young age to be "streetwise". When I married my husband, he insisted that we move out of the city to another city that was more geared toward family. I refused for awhile. I didn't want the commute and I felt that my lifestyle would change too much. However, I gave it a shot.

I was surrounded by the "mommy brigade", driving sleek SUVs while sipping Starbucks at the same time. I thought.. I have entered Yuppie Hell!

After a couple of years, after having my first child.. I slowly morphed into my own kind of Yuppie. I didn't do it as well as the mommy brigade. I tripped along with spit-on on my shoulder and never seemed to managed the "designer purse on one shoulder, baby carrier balanced delicately on the other arm" skill but here I am now, two kids later.... full-on Yuppie (and liking it). Ssshhh, don't tell.

Jenn

My story isn't very funny either. I lived in Indiana in a very conservative area. My husband lived in Northern Va, right outside Washington DC. So I moved from the calm quiet cornfields to the hustle and bustle of our nation's capital. It took a bit of getting used to it (for example, pop is soda here in VA!) but I wouldn't change it for the world!

I lived up north in NJ til July 2001.
My husband decided he wanted to have a change in scenery. I gave in. We moved to Little River, SC.
It is outside Myrtle Beach. Most of you would not think that it is a bad thing. But for a northerner it was a hard thing to adjust to southern life. Hearing chickens cockle doing at 4am. Mail truck was not a mail truck but a old beat up car. How would like to see alligators living in your own back yard. Big snakes going through the yard, frogs singing all night when it storms. At one time it would take you a hour to get to the nearest movie theatre. They don't have culture here. The libraries are scarce. The books they have you have to send for them or buy them online from the computer. Thank G-d for the computer, or I would not have survived. I would have gone bonkers. Now, I live at the beach at least I have my sanity back. I have made some friends. But it is tough when you are use to a style of life. And that all changes. How would you like being on a farm with dungarees and you lived all your life with high heels and suits, and here you are feeding the slop to the pigs, YUCK. But that is my life and I choice this one. Things could be worse. Myrtle Beach, has gotten more restaurants from the north, new highways just built so it has gotten better in the past few years.

Melanie

I'm the one who gets the new job and my DH follows me. The first time I moved us from rural KY to the big city of Charlotte, NC. It was horrible and we both wanted out. So then he took a job that moved us to Knoxville, TN. Then I moved us back to small town NC. I don't know that it's been funny, but it has made us closer and stronger.

Darby Lohrding

Jen,
I am from Overland Park KS (sub of Johnson County KS), my husband is from Great Bend KS (very very rural town in KS). I picked him up on Match.com after having a horrid date with a nudist midget. Jeff and I now live in Lovely Historial Lecompton KS (town of 5 people), we have land, gardens and several dogs. Jeff travels for a living so I am left at home to manage "the farm", in my boa. Jeff gets upset that I refer to this lovely home with a roof and walls and lots of dirt as a "farm" - tells me I have no idea the hardships of living on a "farm"......well this grlfriend, is no piece of cake. I am totally in my boa, just missing the pig along with my mind!!!!
Would love to read the book!!!!
And you wonder why I was looking for an on-line book club....town of 5.....well do I need to say more?
Hugs
Darby

Cindy

I grew up in a large city, Tulsa, Oklahoma, in a housing subdivision. There were 612 seniors in my high school graduating class. I graduated from Oklahoma State University, which is a large public university. My parents had moved to Mississippi while I was in school, so I came to visit them. I found a job teaching in a small town. I met my future husband, and he had a house in the country. We married and I had to get used to living on land and taking care of animals like horses, goats, and calves. Our children loved it! I would have never in my wildest dreams thought that I would live like I have lived!

Serena (Savvy Verse & Wit)

My husband and I have been married for almost six years and the biggest change has been our move from small town Massachusetts to Washington, D.C.'s suburbs. While this has not changed myself so much, my husband is no longer the quiet boy next door. He speaks his mind more often and has become more assertive. In a way, it seems that we have switched roles some days, with me just going with the flow and him voicing his opposition to things he once would just go along with for the sake of harmony.

I cannot imagine uprooting from a city atmosphere now for the country, I think I would have a lot in common with JUDITH O'REILLY in this book.

I would love to be entered to win a copy of the book.

Bree

Newly married my husband decided to do something illegal and was arrested. Talk about a shaky first year. It wasn't anything serious but rather stupid. So to avoid jailtime, he joined the military and we moved numerous times for the next 5 years. I loved it and was glad he did something stupid because it got us away from his family.

Michele Martin

I married a service man, before that I never set foot out of Pittsburgh. He was transferred to Fort Riley in Kansas and I was really homesick. That first year I cried every day. Then we went to Europe. I loved Europe and then we settled in upstate NY. Although I visit Pittsburgh often, I have never thought of going back there to live. I realized I wasn't home sick that first year, I just didn't like Kansas. My apologies to Dorothy and all midwesterners.

Melanie

I just got my complimentary copy of the book in the mail. I'm glad it's Friday so I can spend all weekend reading. I do have a couple of other books I need to read first. But it's the weekend so I have two whole days and I can stay up late.

Nancy Viens

I am an ex-wife FROM the North, I left Vermont for Texas in 1982. I brought my two young sons with me, and except for an occasional voyage back to the Green Mountains, I have put down roots here. The decision to leave the North for the Southwest changed my perspective and changed my life. I love the sunshine and the warmth of the weather and the people.

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Fierce the west wind,
Wild geese cry under the frosty morning moon.
Under the frosty morning moon
Horses' hooves clattering,
Bugles sobbing low.

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